((quietly looks around))


Hmmm....it may be that the cooties have all died. Do I need to spray this place with Purel? Can it be that it's safe again?


((stance at the ready to pounce and flee))

This makes me happy

I have posted that this blog is now wasted space. I don't post here anymore. Why do you keep checking this site? Go chase a squirrel or something!

Isn't that just peachy?

I know. It's not Thursday. Where the puking pretzel have I been?

I got home Thursday night and had to promptly make dinner for the monkeys. It was either that or let my ankles and knees be gnawed to death. So in the middle of pasta boiling, broccoli and chicken cooking in the skillet, and creamy tomato sauce simmering my husband storms into the kitchen with a scowl on his face. Apparently, the class he signed up for was cancelled without so as a word. In other words, no bloggin. He doesn't know I have a blog and I'd like to keep it that way.

Then on top of all that, Hubby's uncle came over with a copy of an email that his lawyer sent him. The estate issues continue.........which in layman's term means the greedy lepers have been quite busy. Whatever, assholes. Then, Hubby's brother came over at which point wine entered the conversation and the number of curse words increased as well as the noise level. What a bunch of light weights!

Friday night I got home late; about eight o'clock. Now, it's no secret that we have two laptops and a Dell; all are on a wireless network. With all three in the house, I was number 7 in line for computer time. Apparently, the dog and Mommakitty get a better spot in line than me.

I knew that today was going to be busy, too. So I spent most of the morning getting everyone ready for a basketball game and two birthday parties. Now that we're covered in snow and everything is cancelled, I have a moment to breathe. What's strange is that I don't know what to do with myself if I'm not running around like mad.


So, to answer Nikki's question....no, I haven't killed anyone at work yet. For three days in a row I haven't even had the time to go to the bathroom until about three o'clock. I just can't kill anyone on a full bladder. It would take some of the fun out of it. I have been privy to some of the political, gossip-like goings on, though. Really, there's no possible way for me to care any less about that sort of crap, but its a good indication that they're slowly accepting me into the fold. Whoopie. I'll try to contain my excitement.

Which leads me to the question: why are some women in the workplace so mean spirited? Really. The men I have so far encountered are welcoming and hospitable. Not that the women aren't nice, but they are slow to come around and, more often than the men, two-faced. I never did quite get that. Product of their environment? Hive PMS? ? ? ? Don't get me wrong. Men are mean-spirited, too, but they're usually more direct about it is all I'm saying.

Anyhoo, I have to go break up some chaos and destruction in the living room. Monkeys can be so hands-on!!

For your viewing enjoyment...

When butt implants go wrong....

My sister said she's tired of the penis cheese.

She demanded I post something else and/or new on this blog.

So, I will now tell you of a tale most disturbing.

There once was a man named Paen. He had a crush on a girl named Tonya. She, however, loved a man named Kenny. Kenny, however, was in love with Sally. Sally was not human.

Paen was the strongest, smartest bad ass around. Paen also happen to be the reigining ruler of the land. Unfortunately, he was also allergic to brousel sprouts. It didn't bother Paen in the least to have this allergy for the little veggies are truy vile, but Sally planned to use this fact against Paen because Sally wanted to rule the world.

Kenny, being an insecure horndog, decided to help Sally in exchange for her affection. Tonya, being completely daft, would do anything to get Kenny's attention. This anything included cooking beirocks stuffed with brousel sprouts.

One cold and bitter day, Sally had a beirock party and invited only a select few. Immediately after eating his first bite of beirock, Paen sussed out the evilness of the meal. He drew forth his sword (because no smart bad ass leaves home without it) and readied his defenses.

Unfortunately, everyone underestimated the violence of Paen's allergy because he began to vomit uncontrollably. The force of Paen's spew was enough to not only bring forth every meal he had within the week, but also strip the thin veil of skin that covered Sally's face.

Upon seeing Sally's true form, Kenny also began to vomit until his testicles were purple. At this sight, Tonya turned to Paen to apologize and comfort him. Before she had time to speak, Paen fittingly severed Tonya's head from her spine. Paen introduced the rest of the dinner party to the hilt of his sword then called it a night.







(snicker)